we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
