now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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