You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
why is half of my head shaved?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
