the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
