so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
