I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
