Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I licked your asshole in confidence.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
