Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
