chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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