Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
