well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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