oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its about making memories worth repressing
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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