Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm jealous of your bromance
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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