Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
