Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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