Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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