Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
