I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
