$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
