the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
