Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
