I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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