Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
All I want is dick and wine.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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