Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
