oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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