We're like a lot better than the average bears
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
