Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
