I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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