I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
