no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
