And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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