Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
