yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
