but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
