I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
