I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
