David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
