yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
