So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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