M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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