Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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