got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
