found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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