You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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