you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
