quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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