"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
