I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
