Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
