i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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