I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
